Before you read too far into this, I’m going to save your stressed out, pondering heart right now and tell you… it’s okay.
It’s okay if your toddler doesn’t seem interested.
It’s okay if your toddler tells you no because he/she doesn’t want to sit on the potty.
It’s okay if every other toddler you know is potty trained and yours is not.
I have 3 kids, and I know all the feelings you’re feeling if you’re reading this blog for answers. I’m gladly going to give you some tips, but that’s all they are, tips to see if they work, and if they don’t… that’s OKAY.
I fully believe that a child will NOT use the potty until they are ready to do it themselves.
The expression “you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink” truly applies for little stubborn potty training toddlers lol
Sometimes these little tips help move the process along faster and it may work for some kids, but no child will potty train until they are ready and you need to remember that from the beginning. Do not feel defeated if aiming at cheerios doesn’t work, buying a new potty chair with a special character on it doesn’t work, or bribing with all the candy and treats in the world doesn’t work.
Also, during your season of potty training, it’s good to constantly remind yourself (and your spouse) that this is a (messy) learning process.
Some kids will potty train in 3 days, and some take months to get it down pat without accidents. Potty training could take a while for your toddler to get the hang of, and there WILL be accidents along the way.
It WILL be messy.
Undies will get peed and pooped in, car seats will need to be washed more often than usual, and you may feel like you have a puppy in the house after cleaning up so much pee off the floor lol but remember this won’t last forever, and try to give them some grace if they backslide or have accidents along the journey.
This is one of the first huge milestones that they are learning control and how their body works. I mean, there are adults who still don’t understand the concept of control, am I right? Lol So give your little one, and yourselves, a little rope during this time.
Signs your child is ready to potty train… showing interest in others going potty (mom, dad, siblings), staying dry for long periods of time, wanting to wear underwear, noticing and not liking a dirty diaper, or showing interest in the toilet and what it’s used for.
Disclaimer: I’ve potty trained 2 boys, not my girl yet, so these tips may be leaned toward boy potty training. Also, I know that each parent has their own styles, their own thoughts and opinions, and their own beliefs. Please do not take anything I say personally as if how you’re parenting or what you’ve done is wrong. There is no “wrong” way to parent. I have worked in daycare’s for many years, and raised 3 of my own children. These are just some things I’ve learned over the years that could possibly benefit you!
Now let’s dive into some tips…
Rewarding
Working at daycares for many years has taught me that some rewards can be “too much” of a reward, and can quickly spoil a child with no benefit to the cause. When potty training, daycares typically use a sticker or mark chart to track each time a child goes potty. A lot of times the kids are able to do this themselves to let them feel a sense of accomplishment. At home, try this same method, and the upside to doing this at home is that you can show your pride in them.
Sometimes the best prize for a toddler is a big show of excitement from their parents.
Give them your undivided attention and all of the praise! If you feel like you need to try treats as a reward, anything small that they rarely have like candy or gummies are a great prize, but try to avoid “presents” such as something like hot wheels. Toddlers do not need big prizes to feel like they’ve accomplished something unless they’re taught this way. Like I said, just show them how excited you are for them that they even sat on the potty, after several times of doing this they will catch on that this makes mommy/daddy happy and they’ll want to do it again. Kids are always looking to please their parents (which really shows later on when the “watch me” phase starts lol)
Avoid Pull-Ups/Go directly to underwear
Personal opinion, but I think you will agree when I explain why I say this. Yes, the concept of pull ups is to teach them the motion of pulling up and down pants, BUT, pull ups are just essentially the same as a diaper. Toddlers learn that they can pee and poo in pull ups the same as they can their diaper, and there’s not much of a difference. Going directly to underwear will also teach the concept of pulling up and down, and most importantly it alerts the child immediately when they’re peeing.
I am already seeing this in my 16 month old. Sometimes she takes her diaper off and runs around the house for even just a few minutes before I can get one back on her, and I’ve caught her standing still with a face of confusion and surprise because she has pee running down her leg. What a totally different sensation that is for them than peeing in a diaper that absorbs it all like they were never even wet.
Like I said in the beginning of this blog, it WILL be messy. Some kids HATE the feeling of wetting themselves and that’s enough to light the fire to potty train asap! Some kids are not like this and will just straight pee and poop in their undies and not care at all lol unfortunately, in that case, maybe this tip isn’t for yours lol
Make it fun with characters
This goes for potty chairs, underwear, stickers for the reward chart, etc. Kids love their characters, and having them around during potty training season might be enough to entice them to be just as “cool” as their favorite. Saying things like “look at these sweet superman undies I bet he wears some just like this, are you super strong just like him when you wear them!? you don’t want to get him dirty so let’s keep him dry and go on the potty!” Some kids are so in love with characters that this could easily persuade them… others, you can just move right along to the next tip lol
(for boys) Invest in a toddler urinal
Yes, they make these! Getting a toddler size urinal that suction cupped to the outside of the bathtub was what made potty training my second so easy. We could adjust it to his height so he could use it whenever he wanted just like he would a potty seat. But the best part about using a urinal and not even starting in a potty seat, was that it avoided the mess of pushing the pee pee down…. Moms of boys, I know you know what I mean.
Boys are just designed to stand up, aim and pee. When they sit to pee, they have to push it down to make it in the potty… but, sometimes it gets pushed down too hard and you have a pee sprinkler, sometimes they push it down only enough to get right in the crack of where the seat lays down so it trickles down the side of the toilet and doesn’t even make it in there, or my personal favorite… when they get distracted and let go for a split second and boom, your walls are now picassoed in pee lol
The urinal was the best thing we ever purchased for potty training our boys. Just type in amazon “toddler urinal” and you can easily find one.
And for anyone who’s going to ask about what we did for poo, we just had an easy/cheap toilet seat cover we could put on our toilet when he was ready to do the number 2.
Pee on trees
If you’re comfortable with this style of training, let your child run naked outside as much as possible and when they need to pee tell them to find a tree or a plant and “water” it. This is so fun for them! This is how we potty trained our first. (Like I said, I’ve only potty trained boys at home so I have no idea if this works for girls.) But ours was ready for potty training in summer months so it made our lives much easier and less messy to just be outside most of the day. With this style of training, he quickly understood peeing ques in his body so that when he had the urge to pee he thought “hey… I need to find a plant to water because I have the urge to pee!”
I know there are so many other tips I could give because I’ve read them all myself, and I’m sure you already have too. These are just a few that I really wanted to share because they are my favorite ones.
If you came to this post looking for answers, I hope this helps you in even the smallest way!
Remember that there is no quick, works for every child potty training miracle because all children are different. Give your child and yourself grace during your potty training season–they are learning and you are trying your best to adjust to the changes. And most of all... remember that no matter how many tricks you try, your child will NOT potty train until they are ready.
Sending all the luck, patience, and hugs for you potty training mommas!
xo, Brit